Matthew Baldwin of the very awesome blog Defective Yeti wrote a post in 2005 in which he explains his son’s autism spectrum disorder. At the end of the post, he described a moment when he (Matthew, not his son) ate raw horseradish. Of course, his entire mouth, esophagus and stomach were aflame. In the midst of his agony, he mentally asked himself, “Can I die from this?” He ended the post by admitting he now asks himself that same question when he looks at his son and his heart swells with intense love.
I read that post years ago and thought it was cute, but I didn’t have kids then. Now, I know exactly what he means. I know the joyous, panicky shortness of breath I get when I look at my boys and feel my heart filled with blinding, overwhelming, unstoppable love. Over and over, I find myself quietly asking, ”Can I die from this?”
um, can you be my dad, too?